Next Question...

Edidiong Udoh!!!
purpleeff on Facebook.

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. Akpos throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Akpos: Me! I’m going home now.

The Jar Joke. 😂😂

The Jar

laugh owned!

Edidiong Udoh!!!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.” The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. “Well, doc, it’s like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing’ it between her knees, but still nothing.” The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?” The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the jar open.”.

Funny New Year Resolutions

Hey, I'm still Edidiong Udoh.
edidiong_Udoh @ Instagram
Or purpleeff on Facebook.

Just wrote this. Funny new year Resolutions.

This New Year, I will no longer:

• Run while juggling knives
• Skateboard down a hill when my board has no wheels
• Play baseball with a hand grenade and a loaded rocket launcher
• Pillow fight with a bag of spare change
• Beat the school's biggest bully in the fist with my face
• Talk with my mouth full of nails
• Drink paint thinner while smoking a cigarette• Play with matches at a gas station
• Try to perform stunts with my car on the local bridges
• Throw my friends into the trunk of my car
• Play "Chicken" with local freight trains
• Set my hair on fire with hairspray and matches
• Cause global warming singlehandedly
• Shower while making toast on the edge of my bathtub
• Audition for "Jackass" every week
• Wear a bacon costume and tease the dancing bear
• Eat chocolates (I totally swear!!)
• Send "funny" images of "epic fails" and"LOLCats" via SMS or chat to someone who I am currently talking on the phone with
• Tell my friends the same story (the one with the cow and the purple Snuggie that stopped being funny 8 years ago) every time we get together
• Spend as much time worrying about life, but rather worry about the reasons why I feel compelled to stop worrying
• Consider the feelings of others when they obviously don't care about mine
• Try to hold onto the floor when I am clearly drunk and it is holding me•
Try to remember if it is drink 13 or 14 that clearly gets me wasted
* Consider apple martinis part of my "daily fruit intake"
• Drink and drive, as I'm sick of running over speed bumps and spilling my beer in the car
• Consider second and third breakfasts real meals.

God alone knows how I survived this whole year.

Gmail Offline

This isn't a joke.
If you think it is, tell me on Instagram @ edidiong_Udoh
Or go to the purpleeff Facebook page.

GMail introduced a new feature recently, that is browsing mails offline. Here for u fanz.

Steps:Today we are going to see how to do that.

First you need to install Google Gears, you can download the online installer from here http://gears.google.com/ Run the online installer and it will install Google Gears on your system. Now open your GMail and navigate to the settings and then to the Labs tab, there you will find a feature called offline, Enable that.Thats it you are almost done, just a few clicks away. It will ask your permission to install offline access for GMail, click next. Then you get a Google Gears security warning, allow it.

Click ok in the next window and you are done.It will download all your mails to your hard drive for offline browsing. You can see the status in the status window.

Gmail Offline

This isn't a joke.
If you think it is, tell me on Instagram @ edidiong_Udoh
Or go to the purpleeff Facebook page.

GMail introduced a new feature recently, that is browsing mails offline. Here for u fanz.

Steps:Today we are going to see how to do that.

First you need to install Google Gears, you can download the online installer from here http://gears.google.com/ Run the online installer and it will install Google Gears on your system. Now open your GMail and navigate to the settings and then to the Labs tab, there you will find a feature called offline, Enable that.Thats it you are almost done, just a few clicks away. It will ask your permission to install offline access for GMail, click next. Then you get a Google Gears security warning, allow it.

Click ok in the next window and you are done.It will download all your mails to your hard drive for offline browsing. You can see the status in the status window.

What the world searched for in 2016

Amazing isn't it.
#google
#edidiong_udoh Instagram
#facebook.com/purpleeff

See what was trending in 2016 -GlobalSearches
1
Pokémon Go
2
iPhone 7
3
Donald Trump
4 Prince
5 Powerball
People
1Donald Trump
2 Hillary Clinton
3Michael Phelps
4 Melania Trump
5Simone Biles
Global Sporting Events
1Rio Olympics
2World Series
3Tour de France
4Wimbledon
5Australian Open

Movies
1Deadpool
2Suicide Squad
3The Revenant
4Captain America Civil War
5Batman v Superman
TV Shows
1Stranger Things
2Westworld
3Luke Cage
4Game of Thrones
5Black Mirror
Global News
1US Election
2Olympics
3Brexit
4Orlando Shooting
5Zika Virus

Consumer Tech
1iPhone 7
2Freedom 251
3iPhone SE
4iPhone 6S
5Google Pixel

Losses
1Prince
2David Bowie
3Christina Grimmie
4Alan Rickman
5Muhammad Ali

Musicians
1Céline Dion
2Kesha
3Michael Bublé
4Creed

Just_purple
edidiong_udoh Instagram

Man Fruits (Jokes)

The Trial Of An Igbo, Yoruba And Hausa Man. An Igbo man, a Yoruba man and an Hausa manwere lost in a forest and then captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step was to go deep into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruits. The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits.The Yoruba man came back and said to the king,”I brought 10 apples.”Then the king explained the trial to him,”You have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed.The first apple went in, but on the secondone,he winced out in pain, so he was killed.The Igbo man arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should beeasy…. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed.The Yoruba man and Igbo man met in heavenand the Yoruba man asked,”Why did you laugh?You almost got away with the trial.”The Igbo man replied,”I couldn’t help it, when Isaw the Hausa man coming with Watermelons!”
#whats ya Say.
#post to free.facebook.com/purpleeff
Or
edidiong_udoh on Instagram

Opera Mobile tricks

#opera tricks,#edidiong_udoh.  Instagram, #www.facebook.com/purpleeff

1. server:source

I like this particular code very much. Typing this code in the address bar will return you the source code ( HTML code) of the webpage you are presently on.

Without this code you have to switch to desktop computer to get the source code of any webpage. This code has helped me, to some extent, to carry on with my computer programming when I’m not on desktop PC. It’s a boon to java phone users. A useful code for developers.If you know the url of the web page then you can also use this google dork. Open google then typecache:<your_url>. Then you will find an option at the top to view source code.

2. opera:config (or config:)Another most useful code, gives the user a list of power-user settings to tweak with. These options are not visible to a normal user. Following arethe options you get to edit:*.Large placeholders for images*.Loading timeout*.Site patches and user – agent masking*.Keep styling in RSS feeds*.Fold link list*.Phone number detection*.Minimum phone number length*.Use bitmap fonts for complex scripts (useful to read language scripts other than English)*.Show feed index*.Show a list of page feeds at the top of the page

3. opera:about (or about:)This code provides useful (if you think) insights into your opera mini version,build number, platform, companies involved in building the browser, acknowledgements etc.

4. server:setupNow you can check whether you havea working internet connection or not using this opera mini secret code. Will be useful when you are configuring internet settings manuallyand you want to test them. You don’t always need to open a website to check your connection, have a try at this code.

5. opera:cacheThis code will return the cached items of opera mini. Cached pages are those webpages which you frequently visit. These pages are saved in your browser to give you faster access to them. Along with the list of cached items, you will also get the size of each cached page and its URL.

7. debug:This code returns all the technical details of your bowser. You can know about server status, cookies, your network operator, location, settings or preferences in the browser, user agent, IP address, feed details, version and much more.

8. tel:<phone number>You can use this code tomake call in opera mini without minimizing it. Perfect for those users carrying feature phones who always lack of multitasking.
.
Note: Before using this code you need to type in address barwtai://wp/mc;<phone number>subsequent calls can be then made just by the tel:code.9. server:reset and server:refresh

These two codes aren’t that important as you can do the operations performed by these codesdirectly through the available options in opera mini. But let me tell you these codes just to increase your knowledge base.

Actually the first code i.e., server:reset deletes the cookies of your browser which you collect while browsing internet. The second one, server:refresh, reloads the webpage you are currently on.10. odp:showuptodateThis code returns you to your homepage (or speed dial as the case may be).

Also your homepage data gets refreshed with the latest sites you visited. Works in opera mini above version 4.x.Other Useful Opera Mini CodesThe above codes are in general usageamong people. But still there are many more hidden codes in opera mini that Opera Software ASA never reveals. Hoping of more codes in future but here are few more secret codes that you can try right now.javascript:–

Executes javascripton pagefeed:list– Shows a list of feeds you are subscribed to.opera:fps– After trying the code, get rid of fps (frames per second) menu by restarting the browser

Also see:server:version, debug:console, server:sv, debug:test

If you like this post and found it useful then don’t forget to share it with your friends. Subscribe to the free email alerts to get always updated with latest tips, tricks and tech news.

Also if you have few more similar opera mini codes with you then you can always comment on our facebook.com/purpleeff and let us know.

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Join the conversation now.
Screenshots below.

My best compilation of Jokes.

Am//always//edidiong_udoh(Instagram)
#African_inspiration

*“Pastor,my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?” Pastor replied, “No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road, maybe they will do it.” The man said, “Do you think they will accept a donation of U.S $250,000 for the burial service?” Pastor exclaimed, “Sweet Jesus! Why didn’t u tell me the dog was a Christian?”*A famousprostitute died. People were confused as to what should be written on her grave. Finally, on the advice of a wise man, they wrote: “AT LAST SHE SLEPT ALONE!!!”*A guytakes a girl on a date. She orders costly champagne, oysters, lobsters, the most expensive food on the menu. The guy asks: “Do you eat like this at your mom’s place?” The girl replies, “No, my mother doesn’t plan to sleep with me after the meal.’*An American,an English man, and a Nigerian were on a ship. Suddenly the Devil appeared and said, “Drop anything in the sea, if I find it I will eat u, If I can’t, I will be your slave!” The American dropped a pin, the Devil found it and ate him. The English man dropped a coin, the Devil found it and ate him too. The Nigerian opened a bottle of water, poured it in the sea and said, “Na today be today, go find am!”.*A Nigerianman fainted outside Mr. Biggs (an eatery). Soon a crowd gathered around him and someone suggested, “Give him some water, it will help.” Hearing this, the man opened one eye and said, “Commot from here, if na water I wan drink, I for go faint for water board…” (Translation: “Get lost! If I needed water, I would faint in front of a water facility)*A mansits on the balcony having drinks with his wife, and he says, “I love you!” She asks, “Is that you or the beer talking?” He replies, “It’s me… talking to the beer.”*A husbandcomes home from Church, greets his wife, lifts her up and carries her around the house. The wife is so surprised and excited! She asked with smiles, “Did the Pastor preach on being romantic?” Out of breath the husband replies, “No, he said we must carry our burdens…”

Android secret codes

In case of any problem, DM me on Instagram through #edidiong_udoh

#with_respect_to HTC one.
#edidiong_udoh

*.*#06#                                       To check IMEI of your device, enter this code.*.*#0*#                                       To enter service menu on the very new Android phones.*.*#0228#                                   To check battery status.*.*#9090# / *#1111#                  To make device in Service mode.*.*#*#4636#*#*                        To get information about battery, usage statistics and device.*.*#*#34971539#*#*                 To get all information about camera.*.*#12580*369#                         To get software and hardware info.*.*#228#                                     For ADC Reading.*.#7353#                                     To hide test menu 2/Self Test Mode.*.##7764726                               To hide service menu for Motorola Droid.*.*#*#273283*255*663282*#*#*   For backup ofour all media files.*.*#*#232338#*#*                       It display the Wi-Fi mac address.*.*#7465625#                               To view status of lock-phone.*.*#*#3264#*#*                           To show RAM version.*.*#*#44336#*#*                         To display build time and change list number.*.*#*#232337#*#                         To see or display device’s Bluetooth address.*.*#*#197328640#*#*                 It enables test mode for service.*.*#*#8351#*#*                           To enable voice dial mode.*.*#*#8350#*#*                           To disable the voice dial mode.*.*#*#0842#*#*                           To test Back-light/vibration.*.*#*#2664#*#*                           To test the touch-screen.*.*#*#0289#*#*                           For Audio test.*.*#*#0*#*#*                               For LCD display test.*.*#*#232331#*#*                       To test Bluetooth of any Android device.*.*#*#0283#*#*                           To perform a packet loop-back test.*.*#*#1575#*#*                           For advanced GPS test.*.*#*#1472365#*#*                     To Perform a quick GPS test.*.*#*#0588#*#*                           To perform a proximity sensor test.*.*#*#7262626#*#*                     To perform fieldtest.*.*#*#232339#*#*                       Testing Wireless LAN.*.*#9090#                                     To Diagnose configuration of device.*.*#872564#                                 To control U-S-B logging.*.*#9900#                                     System dump mode. *.*#*#7780#*#*                           Reset  to factorystate.*.*2767*3855#                             To format Android device.*.*#*#4986*2650468#*#*          To get pda, phone, H/W and RF Call Date.  *.*#*#1234#*#*                            To know about pda and firmware version.                                    *.*#*#1111#*#*                           For FTA Software version. *.*#*#2222#*#*                           For FTA Hardware version.*.*#*#7594#*#*                          To change powerbutton behaviour once code enabled.      *.*#*#8255#*#*                           To launch Google Talk service monitor.