Next Question...

Edidiong Udoh!!!
purpleeff on Facebook.

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. Akpos throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Akpos: Me! I’m going home now.

The Jar Joke. 😂😂

The Jar

laugh owned!

Edidiong Udoh!!!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.” The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. “Well, doc, it’s like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing’ it between her knees, but still nothing.” The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?” The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the jar open.”.

What the world searched for in 2016

Amazing isn't it.
#google
#edidiong_udoh Instagram
#facebook.com/purpleeff

See what was trending in 2016 -GlobalSearches
1
Pokémon Go
2
iPhone 7
3
Donald Trump
4 Prince
5 Powerball
People
1Donald Trump
2 Hillary Clinton
3Michael Phelps
4 Melania Trump
5Simone Biles
Global Sporting Events
1Rio Olympics
2World Series
3Tour de France
4Wimbledon
5Australian Open

Movies
1Deadpool
2Suicide Squad
3The Revenant
4Captain America Civil War
5Batman v Superman
TV Shows
1Stranger Things
2Westworld
3Luke Cage
4Game of Thrones
5Black Mirror
Global News
1US Election
2Olympics
3Brexit
4Orlando Shooting
5Zika Virus

Consumer Tech
1iPhone 7
2Freedom 251
3iPhone SE
4iPhone 6S
5Google Pixel

Losses
1Prince
2David Bowie
3Christina Grimmie
4Alan Rickman
5Muhammad Ali

Musicians
1Céline Dion
2Kesha
3Michael Bublé
4Creed

Just_purple
edidiong_udoh Instagram

Man Fruits (Jokes)

The Trial Of An Igbo, Yoruba And Hausa Man. An Igbo man, a Yoruba man and an Hausa manwere lost in a forest and then captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step was to go deep into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruits. The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits.The Yoruba man came back and said to the king,”I brought 10 apples.”Then the king explained the trial to him,”You have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed.The first apple went in, but on the secondone,he winced out in pain, so he was killed.The Igbo man arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should beeasy…. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed.The Yoruba man and Igbo man met in heavenand the Yoruba man asked,”Why did you laugh?You almost got away with the trial.”The Igbo man replied,”I couldn’t help it, when Isaw the Hausa man coming with Watermelons!”
#whats ya Say.
#post to free.facebook.com/purpleeff
Or
edidiong_udoh on Instagram

My best compilation of Jokes.

Am//always//edidiong_udoh(Instagram)
#African_inspiration

*“Pastor,my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?” Pastor replied, “No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road, maybe they will do it.” The man said, “Do you think they will accept a donation of U.S $250,000 for the burial service?” Pastor exclaimed, “Sweet Jesus! Why didn’t u tell me the dog was a Christian?”*A famousprostitute died. People were confused as to what should be written on her grave. Finally, on the advice of a wise man, they wrote: “AT LAST SHE SLEPT ALONE!!!”*A guytakes a girl on a date. She orders costly champagne, oysters, lobsters, the most expensive food on the menu. The guy asks: “Do you eat like this at your mom’s place?” The girl replies, “No, my mother doesn’t plan to sleep with me after the meal.’*An American,an English man, and a Nigerian were on a ship. Suddenly the Devil appeared and said, “Drop anything in the sea, if I find it I will eat u, If I can’t, I will be your slave!” The American dropped a pin, the Devil found it and ate him. The English man dropped a coin, the Devil found it and ate him too. The Nigerian opened a bottle of water, poured it in the sea and said, “Na today be today, go find am!”.*A Nigerianman fainted outside Mr. Biggs (an eatery). Soon a crowd gathered around him and someone suggested, “Give him some water, it will help.” Hearing this, the man opened one eye and said, “Commot from here, if na water I wan drink, I for go faint for water board…” (Translation: “Get lost! If I needed water, I would faint in front of a water facility)*A mansits on the balcony having drinks with his wife, and he says, “I love you!” She asks, “Is that you or the beer talking?” He replies, “It’s me… talking to the beer.”*A husbandcomes home from Church, greets his wife, lifts her up and carries her around the house. The wife is so surprised and excited! She asked with smiles, “Did the Pastor preach on being romantic?” Out of breath the husband replies, “No, he said we must carry our burdens…”

The Bird and the shit( moral jokes)

#my_bae jokes
Instagram: edidiong_udoh

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
* * * * *

The Theft Machine(jokes)

The Koreans invented a
machine that detects thieves.
They took it to different
countries for a test. In USA, in 30 mins, it caught 20
thieves; In UK, in 30 mins, it caught 500
thieves; In Spain, in 20 mins, it caught
25
thieves; In Ghana, in 10 mins, it caught
6,000 thieves; In Uganda, in 7 mins, it caught
20,000 thieves; In kenya in 2 mins it caught
60,000; In Nigeria, in 5 mins, the
machine
was stolen.

Am still edidiong_udoh on Instagram.